Calvin and Hobbes Quotes: Hobbes: There's more to this world than just people, you know. Calvin: Why should I have to WORK for everything? It's like saying I don't deserve it! Cavlin: I must obey the inscrutable exhortations of my soul. Cavlin: You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocketship underpants don't help. Calvin: I'd hate to have a kid like me. Hobbes: I like to say

I found out last night that I am, apparently, a member of a cult. It's 'The Cult of Susy'. Even though the five or six people who said they had heard of The Cult were all drunk, and even though I was on my (I think) fifth margarita when I heard about it, I think they were telling the truth because they were all asked individually and they all said "Oh yeah I know about The Cult!". Susy is my

Last night I attended a celebration dinner along with 500 of my closest friends in an historical bank building downtown. In the lady's room on the first floor, there was taped a sign to the inside of the stall door. From it's appearance it had been there for many many years. It had been typed on an old manual typewriter and it said: Please discard all used personal materials in the trash

On the marquee at my local Catholic church: If God has a refrigerator, is your picture on it? That just seems like a lot of pressure to me.

Oh I love my job yes, I do oh yes, I do I do... Today I got to leave the office right after lunch and drive out in the woods and soak up the sunshine and zoomzoom around the curves on little narrow country roads in order to pick up some ceramics that had been created for us at Willow River Farm out by the Brazos River. Oh I love my job yes, I do...

OK, Mr. Senator Cornyn, you...lemme get this straight. You think we ought to amend a document that has stood for over 200 years because all of the sudden you're concerned that if the P and the VP go kaput at the same time that ELECTED OFFICIALS might end up taking over the country? Hey people - what the hell is wrong with these people? I just don't understand anything anymore. I swear...

I didn't know Paul McCartney had a donkey. Bwaaaaahahahahahaha Chicken to Ride P.S. By the guy who did the miscarried embryo flattened mouse thingees (see below) P.P.S. This is a seriously sick person who I think I've fallen in love with even though he's English which means those teeth could actually be his own.

Have you seen the Quizno's Subs advertisements that feature what appear to be little cat toy mice thingees made out of rabbit fur then flattened with car tires and given the teeth of some poor miscarried malformed embryo and topped off with a) a pirate hat or b) a bowler? They are the most unappetizing little flat mouse singing beasties you could ever imagine, but damned if I don't think it's a

Do you have Chuy's where you live? Have you had the creamy jalapeno dip? I'm trying to think of something I like better (other than chocolate of course) but I can't think of anything. That's right - I have nothing better to do tonight than sit here and think about the creamy jalapeno dip at Chuy's. You know, they sell it in 16 oz. containers to go.

While I honestly don't know if I support 'gay marriage', I do know I'm 100% behind random acts of love and kindness. This story truly floats my boat: The flowering of love Strangers from Midwest send bouquets

A BLESSING FROM MY SIXTEEN YEARS' SON I have this son who assembled inside me during Hurricane Gloria. In a flash, he appeared, in a heartbeat. Outside, pines toppled. Phone lines snapped and hissed like cobras. Inside, he was a raw pearl: microscopic, luminous. Look at the muscled obelisk of him now pawing through the icebox for more grapes. Sixteen years and not a bone broken,

My husband has been talking all day about getting another dog. A puppy, no less. I think I may have to relent and have sex with him one day soon. Were you outside today? In Houston? THIS is why god makes convertibles. Go! Go buy one NOW. Don't wait - summer could be here any second and then you'll have to close the lid again until December! I'm being really bugged by the urge to: a. go

Note: Jose Cuervo is only your friend on the actual day you are spending time with him. On the next day, Jose is a rotten sumbitch. Or, I could just be old.

Oh, yeah - I'm going to this Anti-Valentine's Day party tomorrow night. A girlfriend at work came up and told me today that this guy at our office who AT LEAST three of us wimin are droolly over is going to show up. Just what I need. Going single (but wearing my wedding band!) to a Down With Mushy party so I can get all bothered watching this guy's shoulders move around under his shirt.

Yes, it is proof that I'm all powerful - I finally buy a convertible and it's rained now 7 out of the 8 days I've owned it. Yeah of course it's because of me!! Snow in South Texas. Could only be because of me. And now for something completely different: Like art? Check out Kurt Wenner. Brilliant talent.

From CNN today: "A woman was charged with beating her 7-year-old adopted daughter with a dog chain and keys, burning her wrists on a stove, dousing her naked body with bleach, then locking the girl inside a closet in a coal cellar with a burning furnace filter, police said. The girl was apparently not injured by the fire, police said." Well, that's a relief! At least she wasn't injured by

OK guys - no exaggerations here - I've washed my hair twice, washed all the clothes I wore last night and since blowing my nose didn't do it I actually got some nasal spray and rinsed my nostrils but I can STILL smell the cig smoke and I've got a headache from it and truly feel a little pukey. Unbelievable. Who knows of a good quite bar in Houston where a bunch of girls can go swill booze but

I can't begin to imagine how many times in my life I will feel the need to do this but here I go with this turn: To my friends: I am so sorry that for all those years you had to put up with the stench that wafted around me 24 hours a day because I smoked cigarettes. Last night, Mel and Lisa and I had supper and then we went to a real live bar to drink. I didn't notice it really in the bar,

Don't be a fool. Don't do what I did. Don't wait 'til you're 40. GO BUY THAT ZIPPY LITTLE SPORTS CAR RIGHT NOW, DROP THE LID AND ZOOM ZOOM ZOOM! "The most fun you can have while driving with your pants on." -- Edmunds.com I suggest the Mazda Miata. Do you need something from the store? No - really - I'll go get it for you. Vroooom. Happy happy happy me...

Just a quick little survey to my dear readers: What do ya'll think of someone for whom you buy a Christmas present who can't be bothered to receive said present? And I mean, it's FEBRUARY and this thing is still the in trunk of my car. Yeah - that's what I think, too!!!!! At what point does posession become 9/10ths of the Who Gets To Keep The Present Rule?