Tuesday, June 10, 2008
My office mate and I were talking today about how this past weekend went. I always want to know what she and her fiancé did because they're young and hip and do fun things. 'Cause they're young and hip they CAN do fun things.
Oh - and they're both from the Eastern Sea Board so this whole Texas thing is still fun and amazing for them both. (Common type of comment from Office Mate "I'm just not used to having all these BUGS all over the place. What are they?? I saw one yesterday that are so tiny you can hardly see it and it was crawling on my HAND!!"*)
So I learn that this weekend she and her fiancé visited some guys up in College Station. She starts to tell me a story about something one of the guys said but she kept stopping because it was so "offensive" and she was embarrassed. The story had begun with "This guy started talking about his catfish". I assured her that, having grown up in Texas, there is no story about a catfish that can offend me, and there is hardly anything a person in College Station could DO with a catfish that would surprise me. So she gives up the story:
They're hanging around this small lake, drinking beer and swimming. One of the guys (Gee he's a Aggie. SHOCKING.) starts talking about these catfish he catches. He thinks that if he could teach these catfish to suck on a part of a guy that guys love to be sucked on (these are NOT the words he used) that he could make a million bucks. He said he would looooove to sit around all day having a catfish suck on him.
One of his Aggie beer drinking friends said "But you're married. That would be cheatin'."
And he says "Naaaw. If it ain't the same species it ain't cheating."
Now ladies and gentlemen, I gotta tell you, I've heard some funny damned logic come out a many a Southern man's mouth but that is some FUNNY SHIT.
I had to assure my Office Mate that no, the Different Species rule wasn't as common to Texas as those tiny red bugs that you can hardly see that crawl on your hands. And let me tell you, I laughed my ass off.
Ain't the same species. Ain't cheatin'. Made my afternoon.
And THEN she wanted me to explain the whole College Station / A&M thing. "When I went there it's like it's everywhere. The whole town is about it. A&M this, A&M that." So I tried to tell her that the only reason College Station exists is so Aggies can have something they can coat in purple. And she said, "And they all wear their A&M RINGS. Who wears their college RING??" And I tried to explain to her that, while Aggies are not actually a cult, that they are very chummy, sort of like Jesuits or Moonies. I think it will take some time to let it all sink in.
*She's also amazed by erratic thunderstorms and tornado warnings, people who drive as if you're in their way when you're doing 65 because they want to go 90, and Fort Worth.
Oh - and they're both from the Eastern Sea Board so this whole Texas thing is still fun and amazing for them both. (Common type of comment from Office Mate "I'm just not used to having all these BUGS all over the place. What are they?? I saw one yesterday that are so tiny you can hardly see it and it was crawling on my HAND!!"*)
So I learn that this weekend she and her fiancé visited some guys up in College Station. She starts to tell me a story about something one of the guys said but she kept stopping because it was so "offensive" and she was embarrassed. The story had begun with "This guy started talking about his catfish". I assured her that, having grown up in Texas, there is no story about a catfish that can offend me, and there is hardly anything a person in College Station could DO with a catfish that would surprise me. So she gives up the story:
They're hanging around this small lake, drinking beer and swimming. One of the guys (Gee he's a Aggie. SHOCKING.) starts talking about these catfish he catches. He thinks that if he could teach these catfish to suck on a part of a guy that guys love to be sucked on (these are NOT the words he used) that he could make a million bucks. He said he would looooove to sit around all day having a catfish suck on him.
One of his Aggie beer drinking friends said "But you're married. That would be cheatin'."
And he says "Naaaw. If it ain't the same species it ain't cheating."
Now ladies and gentlemen, I gotta tell you, I've heard some funny damned logic come out a many a Southern man's mouth but that is some FUNNY SHIT.
I had to assure my Office Mate that no, the Different Species rule wasn't as common to Texas as those tiny red bugs that you can hardly see that crawl on your hands. And let me tell you, I laughed my ass off.
Ain't the same species. Ain't cheatin'. Made my afternoon.
And THEN she wanted me to explain the whole College Station / A&M thing. "When I went there it's like it's everywhere. The whole town is about it. A&M this, A&M that." So I tried to tell her that the only reason College Station exists is so Aggies can have something they can coat in purple. And she said, "And they all wear their A&M RINGS. Who wears their college RING??" And I tried to explain to her that, while Aggies are not actually a cult, that they are very chummy, sort of like Jesuits or Moonies. I think it will take some time to let it all sink in.
*She's also amazed by erratic thunderstorms and tornado warnings, people who drive as if you're in their way when you're doing 65 because they want to go 90, and Fort Worth.
Labels: personal urban drama, texas
# posted by Carol : 9:22 PM
