| Monday, July 09, 2007 |
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There is a tangible difference between quiet and silent.
As I walked through my house this afternoon it was silent. Not only because there was no noise. It not only sounded silent. It felt silent. It looked silent. It was blank. Now I know how The Husband feels.
It isn't all that unusual for me to take a weekend here or there in the fall or spring and go to Austin. I hang out with my brother, drive around in the hills, take the Black Dog with me to enjoy the cool air and chase a new breed of squirrel. I always miss The Husband, and I am always happy to get home and have a big hug. But it is always me going away and coming home.
It isn't at all unusual for me to get home after work before The Husband. I come in the house, turn off the alarm, drop my keys on the key table. I greet the Black Dog, undress, grab a diet Coke. I'll run my email, maybe take a shower. I'll call The Husband to check his ETA or he'll call me to see if I want him to bring supper. It is quiet, but there are things that are going to happen.
That is the difference between quiet and silence. Quiet is short - it is a few moments or a few hours. Silent is long. It is days or weeks or longer.
This is the first time in our fifteen years together that The Husband has been the one to leave. Oh, a few times he would drive down to Victoria to visit his Dad for a day. But he was just an hour or so down the road and, if I wanted to, I could hop in the car and go join them. That was different. This is the first time he's really Been Gone.
So this is what it feels like for him when I leave for a few days. This is what silence feels like. The Husband got on a plane this morning and flew to Canada. He's gone to a business conference. I'm proud of him that he's worked hard and that he got the promotion that put him in the group of people that have to go to conferences. But silence feels strange. It's not necessarily bad. Just strange. And this with having the Black Dog to jump up on me! When I go to Austin, The Husband doesn't even have that to welcome him home.
When I was a young girl and my Dad first started traveling a lot for business I had no idea what it was like for my Mother. Those first trips to Moscow were a few weeks long, but then they stretched to months at a time. I can't imagine The Husband being gone for a month. He'll be back on Thursday. That's only four days. I can't imagine months. What would I do with my heart?
I hope he brings me something cheesy with a maple leaf on it.Labels: husband |
posted by Carol @ 6:07 PM  |
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