| Saturday, December 30, 2006 |
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I know we all hear about wacko law suits but this one is straight the the lawyer's mouth. This by the way happens to be one of the few lawyers (like, three, period) who I know to be an honorable person.
This evening we had a Cult meeting at our Cult leader's house. A little after Christmas cult get together. One of the member's husbands, Honorable Lawyer, joined us which is a treat because he doesn't come out often and he is a wildly funny guy. He decided to tell us a story about a case his firm is working on right now.
You may know (but probably don't) that Texas has developed a problem over the last few years in the form of wild hogs. Note, I'm not talking about javalinas, which are a whole nother story and let me tell you a javalina is a sight to behold as long as you're in a sturdy car that is big enough so that a javalina can't tip it over if it gets pissed off at you. By the way, all you have to do to piss off a javalina is exist within its sight. Also, javalinas are decidedly ugly creatures. And they smell. Bad. But I digress.
Wild hogs. They're hell and gone all over the place here in Texas. So according to Honorable Lawyer, one night a month or so ago a man was driving his truck down a lonely road when lo and behold he approaches on the road a dead wild hog. Chances are the hog was hit by another vehicle and died. So the truck guy swerves to avoid hitting the dead hog. But he does it badly, goes off the road, hits a fence, bounces off the fence, and rebounds across the shoulder past a guy wire holding a big tower of some sort. Not so bad, eh? The bad part is that when the truck rebounded off the fence and headed for the guy wire, the truck guy's head somehow got pushed out the open window of the truck and well, lets just say a human neck hanging out a truck that has just rebounded off a fence is no match for a guy wire. Think Marie Antoinette. And not the cake part.
Honorable lawyer then says the truck guy's family is suing. Everyones first thought is, they're suing the company that owns the guy wire because they should have anticipated that one day a truck guy might have to dodge a dead hog in the road, rebound off the nearby fence, and get his head chopped off by the wire. But nooooooo. Second thought is the family is suing the farmer who owns the fence because it wasn't a break away fence and he should have known that one day a truck guy would crash into it while avoiding a dead hog on the road and the fence should have been space age designed to break away upon impact. But noooooo.
The family is suing the unknown guy who hit the hog and killed it in the first place. YES, ladies and gentlemen, THIS IS TEXAS. So the first thing the law firm is charged with is finding the person who hit the hog. Can you imagine that this is what these attorney people were shooting for when they were studying torts? I mean seriously.
I suggested that the law firm do a forensic psychoanalysis of the hog. Maybe the hog was just really sad and committed suicide by motorist. If that's the case then the hog killer is an innocent hog killer and they can sue the guy with the fence instead. Or maybe, they can sue the lawyer that first took the case. But can a law firm sue itself?Labels: law, texas |
posted by Carol @ 11:53 PM  |
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| 2 Comments: |
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The most amazing part of this is that you have a lawyer in your cult...then again...that's what makes it cult...
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good f-ing lord, i hope they sue God too. He's the one with all the pearly stuff anyway.
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The most amazing part of this is that you have a lawyer in your cult...then again...that's what makes it cult...